by Tim Swanson
In the train station of the metropolitan city of Bangalore, India there is a group of young men. They don’t have any family outside of each other. Their bed is the train station floor. They earn money by carrying luggage for travelers during the day. At night, they spend that money on cocaine and heroin, which is their only recreation. In a country that revolves around a class system that determines each person’s value, they belong to the lowest class. They are treated as subhuman by the people they serve, and they are threatened with violence by the other members of their caste. These boys range in age from 9 - 20 years old.
I stepped out of the city bus, onto the crowded sidewalk in front of the train station. Huge letters spelled out ‘Bangalore City’ across the top of the large terminal. My team was a group of missionaries from the US and Europe. With us was James, a native and our translator. We were there to minister to the group of young homeless boys that live in the train station.
I was excited as we walked toward the large terminal building. This was not our first time visiting the train station boys. Over the previous weeks we had come a number of times. And similarly to the previous weeks, the boys were excited to see us. They came pouring out of the station doors as we arrived. Several boys surrounded each member of my team and began talking to us all at once, even though we didn’t speak a lick of each other’s language. We were glad to see them too.
As the sun set, it ignited the Indian sky. Shades of amber and crimson cast a mellow twilight blanket over everything. I felt a little tired after a few nights of bad dreams and carrying around a foreboding feeling that something bad was going to happen. But that night I tried to shrug it off since this was the highlight of my week. I didn't want anything to distract me from spending time playing games with those boys. And the nature of our games kept us in the parking lot. Packed in between the rows of cars we laughed and joked around for a long time. By this time I was beginning to recognize some of the boys, and I had even learned the names of one or two of them. But I still referred to many of them by their appearance, such as ‘the tall skinny one’ or ‘the short skinny one’. Being homeless and addicted to drugs they were all ‘skinny ones’.
Before long, the sun was completely gone. Our games were lighted by the tall parking lot lights. I was a little winded, so I decided to take a break from our game. As I sat down on the concrete curb, one of the younger boys ran up to me and grabbed my hand to pull me back to my feet. I shook my head and tried to communicate that I needed a minute to sit down. However, he was persistent. I couldn’t understand a single word he was saying. But he was exclaiming about something and motioning toward another part of the parking lot. Finally I gave in and stood up to go with him. As we walked past the rows of dark cars, and away from everyone else, I had a quick hesitation, “maybe I should let someone know that I’m going over here” I thought. Ignoring my better judgement I shrugged it off again and followed the now running boy. With the way he was hurrying, I began to wonder if someone had been hurt.
We flew past row after row of parked cars. Then he took a sharp turn in between two compact size sedans. He pulled me between the two cars with him and with one finger motioned for me to wait. I watched curiously as he reached into the pocket of his ripped denim shorts. In the moment after that, time seemed to nearly stop. It all happened in a moment, but I’ll never forget that moment for the rest of my life. The child removed from his pocket an old beat up straight blade razor. He unfolded it revealing a blade that had been sharpened down to a point. With the razor completely extended, he reached his arm out pressing the tip of the shiv into my belly. Then in very broken english he stuttered, “give me your money”.
Have you ever found yourself in a sticky situation like that? Unwanted things are sure to happen to all of us. But have you ever found yourself at the end of a short rope knowing that it could have been avoided had you followed your better judgement? Today, the world isn’t friendlier than it used to be. In fact, you could make a good argument that the world is less friendly today than ever before. This is especially true if you call yourself a Christ follower. As you work to grow your relationship with Jesus and show His love to others, your enemy is trying to trick, ensnare, tempt, hinder, crush, deceive, taunt, trip, and even from time to time stab you to keep you from accomplishing that goal. As Christians (and especially if you are in ministry leadership) we cannot afford to be caught unaware. Fortunately for us, we serve an all powerful God who wants us to succeed. And among an arsenal of protective tools, He has given each one of us a conscience, which will benefit us inasmuch as we follow it and seek to align it with Scripture. There are two great things you can do to build a spiritually aware conscience:
1. Read your Bible: Yes, I know it sounds rudimentary, but don’t underestimate it. There is no better way to align your conscience with Scripture than to make it the focus of your studies. Maybe you’re burned out on Bible Study. If you are, this might be a good time to find a new way to work through Scripture. There are lots of great resources out there. YouVersion is an excellent app that has a gazillion bible study and devotional plans.
2. Pray: “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” Hebrews 4:16. If you’re past is like mine, you may find yourself having a hard time believing that God actually likes you and wants to help you. Well, He does. He cares more than you can possibly understand. And as you pray, you’ll come to a deeper understanding of that care. And you don’t have to begin by praying for an hour every morning. Find something that works for you. I have some good friends who throw their keys under their beds before they go to sleep at night so that they have to get on their knees before they can leave in the morning. God wants to meet with you. If you’re faithful, He will be all the more. I bet you're wondering how things ended with me and the boy.
I stared down at the shiv that pressed against my stomach. It had clearly seen better days. The handle was worn, and the blade was covered in rust. In one moment the boy had presented the shiv and his demand. In the next moment I grabbed his wrist with one hand and twisted it to remove the tip of the weapon from my belly. With my other hand, I hit the boy in the chest as hard as I could. He staggered backward and dropped the razor as he fell over. As he laid on the ground gasping for air, I quickly walked back to the well lit area with my team and the rest of the boys were still playing and having fun. That may or may not have been the best way to react. But that’s exactly what it was - a reaction.
I should have listened to my conscience that night. I was very fortunate to be mugged by a boy that I could easily overthrow. But it would have been better for me to follow my conscience and avoid the danger entirely. I am no stranger to avoidable mistakes. Today I've learned some really hard lessons. One that I have no desire to learn again is that I should listen to my conscience. Initially this means listening to common sense that says not to go to dark places with strangers. As a ministry leader, this means avoiding the things that can destroy my testimony. As Christians we should never forget that our conscience is our safeguard. It’s not always comfortable to listen to it, but it is profitable.
“holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith.” 1 Timothy 1:19
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