Taking the guess work out of finding God's call on your life

Have you ever met those Christians who are really confident in God's calling on their life. They say things like, "I just really sense his leading in my spirit." And then you smile and nod, all the while thinking, What? How come I can never sense anything in my spirit? Is this guy full of it, or is there something I don't know?

Photo courtesy of Hamed Saber at Flickr.com

Maybe you don't feel like you have the same highly refined spiritual sniffer that some people seem to have, but that's okay because you don't need it. God has already given you everything you need to know what exactly what direction he wants you to go. 

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Quick Question. Did Jesus ever feel turned on?

He's easily among the most significant people of all time. Many think of him as a good teacher or a moral man, like Gandhi or Mother Theresa. But that's who he claimed to be. During his life on earth, Jesus made one thing abundantly clear - he claimed to be God.

Photo courtesy of Siebuhr at flickr.com

And the rest of the Bible agrees with him. The book of John calls Jesus by one of his nicknames, The Word. It says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God... and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us" (John 1:1 & 14). For Christians, the idea behind these verses is that Jesus Christ is simultaneously fully God, and fully man.

And it raises some interesting questions. Not long ago, during a mentoring meeting, a young man asked me this, "Did Jesus ever get a boner?" Which is a great question.

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How to get your wife to have more sex with you

Guys typically get stereotyped as animals who think about sex almost all the time, which is fine since that's not entirely inaccurate for many of us. The truth is, sex is a high priority for a lot of men, which doesn't make us bad. However, we tend to get a bad wrap because of the methods we employ in seeking it out.

Photo courtesy of Anne Marthe Widvey at Flickr.com (CC)

You should probably get that checked out.
Some guys are aggressive, trying to convince their wives that it's their job to 'put out' for their husbands. Some others threaten their women by saying things like, "It's an instinct. If I don't get it fulfilled here I'm afraid I'll go looking for it somewhere else".

Then there are the passive guys. They're the ones who have tricked even themselves into believing that they're being loving when they say things like, "If you really loved me, you'd want to make me happy". And there are even those of us who are passive aggressive enough that we become emotionally withholding when women won't give us what we want.

And as you're likely aware, none of the above methods are very romantic. They rarely lead to sex, and when they do, it's never good. The truth is, these attitudes are born out of a desire for more sex. And as we already said, wanting more of it isn't bad. But if the pursuit of more sex leads us to any of the above behaviors or attitudes, then we're in trouble. And what we need to realize is that infrequent sex isn't the problem. It's only a symptom of the problem.

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Don't let big moments slip through the cracks... also probably the worst harmonizing you've ever heard [Video]

"The truth is, you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed."  - Eminem

In 2011, I graduated from Arizona Christian University with a degree in Music. Today I make my living by leading people in singing at church. There's just one problem, and this is not something I like to admit, I'm terrible at harmonizing. In fact, I do just about whatever I can to avoid it.

Photo courtesy of my beautiful wife Allison, who requires no recognition but deserves tons.

But just now, as I sat down to read a really great book, my 16 year old daughter plopped down next to me with her guitar and big bright puppy eyes. And I wasn't about to say no - even if I was scared.

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Theology vs. simple minds, and a word of caution to smarty pants Bible students [Quote]

I sat in the back of the classroom rubbing my forehead and listening to my professor explain Soteriology (which is a fancy term for the study of Jesus' forgiveness of our sins). He explained the surprisingly vast views of Catholics, Lutherans, Calvinists, Armenians, and a few other sects of Jesus' followers.

Photo courtesy of SMB College at Flickr.com

At some point during his lecture, after my eyes glazed over from the complexity of the issue, a question popped into my head. I thought, Wait a minute! If the gospel is for everyone, doesn't it need to be simple enough for even the simplest of people to understand it?

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Facing the recent criticism on my blog. And how to respond to criticism wherever it pops up.

This may come as a surprise, but occasionally people will read my blog and disagree with the things I write. Gasp! I know. And some of those people have been leaving comments to let me know how much they disagree with me. Wanting to be respectful to my commenters, I won't point specific ones out in this post. Instead, I'll simply acknowledge the types of criticism that have been I've seen.

Photo of adorable cats courtesy of Found Animals Foundation on Flickr.com

The recent criticisms that have popped up on Timhswanson.com have been in response to some of my family leadership posts, and the ideas in those post. But regardless of where criticism come from , or where it's directed, there are only two kinds of criticism. There's constructive criticism, which seeks to inform and educate you on how you can do better. And then there's good ol' regular criticism, which simply voices disagreements without any concern for being helpful.

Recently I've received comments containing both kinds of criticism. Some of it seems to be well placed and constructive. And some of it seems less than constructive. The hard part about it is that criticism is painful.

Even constructive criticism, if intentionally worded, can be needlessly hurtful. And while we all experience criticism from time to time, the truth is, criticism only serves to put the ball in our court by giving us a chance to respond. So as I continue working to discover more potential in my life, I'm faced with the challenging question - how will I respond to criticism?

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Regular waitresses are teaching the key to limitless inspiration, don't miss out!

There's a little cafe near my house that I go to frequently. So frequently, in fact, that I don't even have to order anymore. When I sit down, my favorite waitress, Sherrie, brings me a cup of coffee and a number 1 (sunny-side up, hash browns, wheat toast).

Photo courtesy of Chris Goldberg at Flickr.com

There are a lot of things that make that cafe my favorite breakfast joint, but near the top of the list is that, in more than 5 years of eating there, Sherrie has never let my coffee cup sit empty for more than a minute or two. Every few minutes, she passes my table and tops me off. And I always drink way too much coffee when I go there. And curing a recent visit, Sherrie's service showed me where I had been missing out big time in my own life.

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The crucial difference between Jesus and the Devil, and what it means for your mind

If I asked you to, in one word, describe what the Devil does, what would you say? Most people (at least the ones I asked) would say "the tempter" or "the tormentor" or something like that. And those answers are accurate.

Photo courtesy of Willaim Brawley at Flickr.com

There is, however, another distinct title that bares more weight, especially to Christians. And you need to know about it.

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My wife and My takeaways from two weeks with NO SEX!

Disclaimer: Obviously there are lots of guys and gals who abstain from sex for a lot longer than two weeks. Some couples just don't have sex very frequently, and that's normal and good for them. This post is in no way a judgement of the healthy frequency of sex within a marriage.  

 There's this verse in the Bible that that talks about fasting from sex in your marriage (1 Corinthians 7:5). Not too long ago I read it and prayed:

Dear Lord, that's a stupid idea. Amen.

Photo courtesy of Tina Franklin at Flickr.com (CC)

It seemed dumb to stop doing something that develops marital intimacy . And if I'm fasting from sex, what am I supposed to think about all the time? Fortunately for me, God has much greater vision for my marriage than I do.

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A thought about your life and death right from the mouth of Robin Williams

I wanted to give you a pithy article about Robin Williams with some of his quotes, since he was one of my heroes, and - lets face it, that's what every other blogger is doing this week.

Photo courtesy of Bago Games at Flickr.com

So I began doing some research on his life, looking for some great quotes about living a great life, or being funny, or something like that. What I found wasn't anything about life or comedy, but about death. And what he said was this:

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My stupid web designer asked me a stupid question that ruined everything!

At the end of this post, I'm going to ask you to give your input on the 1 question poll, in the right sidebar. But you don't have to read this post before you take the poll. If you scroll down a bit, you can just click your answer right now. I'll be using your answer to inform my writing for the next year. So your input is valuable. Now, on with the story.

I asked Nate for a picture of himself, and he didn't send me one,
so I used this super nerd pic from David Sittig at flickr.com

When I asked Nate, my web designer, to create a new theme for my blog, I thought I was going to get just that - a new blog theme. He asked me to send him a few examples of other blogs I really like. So I sent him the links to the blogs of Carlos Whittaker, Jarrid Wilson, Michael Hyatt, and a few more guys and gals who have good looking blogs.

A few months later, we got together again to look at some preliminary mockups of the new timhswanson.com. He showed me two designs. One was okay, but the second one I absolutely loved. Then he started with the stupid questions, asking, "What do you want to do with your blog in the next 5 years?" I sort of hemmed and hawed and mumbled about some book ideas, and products that have been on my mind.

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17 things my dad always did that I'm making traditions with my kids!

Father's day takes on a whole new meaning when you become a dad. When I was a kid, Father's Day was mostly about remembering to wish my dad a happy Father's Day, and ask my mom which of the gifts she bought was supposed to be from me. And at some point, my school or church teacher would force the class to sit down and think of some thankful things to write on poorly crafted construction paper cards. I would dubiously make my dad a card. But when I actually gave it to him, I was like Here Father. I have forged this card out of my deep and undying gratitude. You're welcome.

Then a few years ago I became a father myself. It changed everything about father's day.

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Where my mind actually was, while I was leading worship, last Sunday.

Last Sunday, I was standing on stage, leading the congregation in singing. I was also completely tuned out. I was singing and smiling, but my mind was somewhere else.

Photo courtesy of David Joyce at Flickr.com

Just before the service started, one of the church's regular attenders walked into the auditorium. His hair was disheveled, and he had big low hanging bags under his eyes. He schluffed across the room to where I was standing, and asked if I had a minute to talk before the service. 

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6 Lessons Cage Fighting Taught Me About My Spiritual Life

Once I fought this mammoth of a man, named Marvin. Before our fight, he was standing in his corner literally just doing back-flips. It was intimidating... and confusing. When the bell rang, we touched gloves and started fighting. Almost right away, he connected with a right hook that felt like a cinder block hitting the side of my head. I immediately thought I'm done, I don't want to do this anymore.

Photo courtesy of MartialArtsNomad.com at Flickr.com

Being a Christian is, in a lot of ways, like being a cage fighter. As a result, there are some significant similarities, and lessons that Christians can draw from competition fighting. Fighting and Christianity are so analogous, in fact, that Paul draws the picture, in the Bible, while writing to a young pastor named Timothy. 

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Tim 6:12

In addition to Paul's words, there are a surprising number of other ways that fighting is similar to following Jesus. Here are the six that have most impacted me.

1. "It's all about how you fight when you're tired." When I'm sparring and I begin to get exhausted, my trainer reminds me of the former statement. The truth is, when you're in the final round, and you've already given everything you've got, you still have to keep going. In that moment, it's all about how you fight when you're tired.

It's the same for Christians. Jesus was a great example of this. The gospel books all recount roman guards beating, mocking and blaspheming Jesus just before they crucified him. That was more than a little unpleasant for Jesus. And in that moment, it would have been easy for Jesus to relent, break his bindings, call down an army of angels, and crush anyone who stood against him. But he didn't. He stayed the course and led with love; even to the point of asking God to forgive his abusers. And we face the same calling. When we're tired, and beat down by the world and critical people, it's important to remember James' immortal words that point us to an attitude like Jesus':

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires" James 1:19-20

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5 Surprising Ways You'll Benefit From Starting Your Own Blog

Photo courtesy of Filipe Ferreira at Flickr.com. However, it's probably not smart to set your coffee
on your computer's keyboard. Even if it looks cool.

There's this really great motivational poster that says, "Blogging: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few." When I read that, I sort of bought into the idea that blogs weren't helpful. So I ignored them.

Photo from Radiatedigital.com

Then a couple years ago I went to a huge leadership conference. I was looking at the program and beneath one of the keynote speaker's pictures was his title - Blogger. I thought wait a minute, bloggers are supposed to be losers. What gives. 

The rest of that weekend changed my outlook on blogs. I even found a couple that I like reading. After that, it was nearly a year later before I started my own blog. 

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I'm revealing my dirty secret [Upcoming]

We all have skeletons in our closets. Some of us have big, hairy, thick boned skeletons. Other's have little, white, dainty skeletons. But we all have them.

Photo courtesy of Canned Muffins at Flickr.com

I have have a skeleton of my own. I've carried it with me most of my life, and it's cost me a lot. I think about it every single day. And on Monday, I am going to tell you what it is. I have three good reasons for doing this. The first one is plain and simple, God tells us to confess to one another (James 5:16).

Secondly, it's because of a quote that has been in my head for the last five years: 

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Get the Most Out of Your Accountability Relationships

Accountability & hooking up
I remember my high school health teacher warning the class about casual sex. He told us to be careful because it's easy to rack up a large number of sexual partners without even realizing it. The same principle may be true with accountability partners.

It makes sense to say, the more accountability the better... right? Maybe not.

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Don't pass out in this church or they're gonna make out with you.

This is a picture I took in a church I visited the other week. I'm not sure whether it was the soiled, frayed edges or the retro style red and black font that caught my attention. But it certainly stood out.

It's hard to see in the photo, but the copyright date is written in the lower right-hand corner. As you might have guessed, its from the early 70's. I probably don't have to tell you this, but CPR practices have changed slightly over the last 40 years. 

According to the American Heart Association website (which did not exist when the above poster was made), there are only two steps to performing CPR. And only one of those two steps appears on this poster. They are as follows. 

1. Call 911.

2. Use your palms to push hard and fast on the center of the chest. 

Maybe it's unfortunate that they've taken out all the steps where you make out with an unconscious and likely complete stranger. But nevertheless, that's what they decided to do. 

Since you and I both know churches are notorious for these kind of  instructional posters, I thought I'd share this with you and encourage you to check your church walls for out dated medical advice. 

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One Big Take Away From The Take Part Conference

Everyone was blown away by the response we got at the Take Part Conference last Saturday. It was one of those things that completely exceeds expectations in every way. It was amazing for two reasons. First, I had so little confidence in myself, that I wasn't sure it would even work, which was sort of an arrogant way of thinking on my part. Secondly, it wasn't successful because of anything I did. It was amazing because God and a bunch of His people showed up and connected in a huge way.

I had the privilege of emceeing the day. And right at the very beginning, I got to tell everyone that our goal was for them to take home at least one great new idea they could use to take worship to the next level at their church. Then I got to spend a good portion of the day wondering around, asking people what their one thing was. Here are some of the things people told me.

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A Quick Thought For Your Holidays

Tim H. Swanson

I remember when I was in college.  The holidays could be a source of pain and frustration.

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