Fighting the nemesis of success

There are no less than 15 great reasons why I should NOT be writing this post right now. But none of them will help me become a writer that regularly and reliably helps people discover more potential in their lives.

Photo courtesy of Joe Newman at Flickr.com

And tonight, after getting home late from a wedding rehearsal, I feel exhausted. My body is tired, my mind is wiped, and there's nothing I'd like to do more than make a good excuse for not writing anything and to go play video games instead. But that won't do and here's why.

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The top 30 lessons from my 30 years of life

I typically don't like to talk about my age. Ever since I was in middle school, people have assumed that I'm older than I actually am. And I like to let them. It's opened many doors that would might have otherwise been closed.

As a teenager, I was able to buy tickets to R rated movies without an ID from the time I was 14. At the end of my Freshmen year of high school, I asked a group of seniors why they bullied my friends and never bullied me. They told me they thought I was a senior. And when I turned 21, I went to the grocery store to legally purchase a case of beer for the first time (which I did not drink, but that's a whole other story). I had to tell the cashier to card me.

Those things were nice, but they were novelties. I didn't learn the true value of appearing older until I was in my twenties. As I sought to grow in knowledge and faith, it has been easy to surround myself with 'peers' who are, in all actuality, a little older than me. And while many of the men in my life have been influential in the lives of guys 5-10 years younger than themselves, I'm typically the most influential to guys my age and at times even a little older.

But looks only go so far. And a person can look any age, but the truth is always discovered when people take a closer look. For that reason, it's important that the insides reflect the outsides. So I've made it my priority to grow in knowledge and wisdom as fast as I can. I've always wanted my insides to match my outsides.

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Facing the recent criticism on my blog. And how to respond to criticism wherever it pops up.

This may come as a surprise, but occasionally people will read my blog and disagree with the things I write. Gasp! I know. And some of those people have been leaving comments to let me know how much they disagree with me. Wanting to be respectful to my commenters, I won't point specific ones out in this post. Instead, I'll simply acknowledge the types of criticism that have been I've seen.

Photo of adorable cats courtesy of Found Animals Foundation on Flickr.com

The recent criticisms that have popped up on Timhswanson.com have been in response to some of my family leadership posts, and the ideas in those post. But regardless of where criticism come from , or where it's directed, there are only two kinds of criticism. There's constructive criticism, which seeks to inform and educate you on how you can do better. And then there's good ol' regular criticism, which simply voices disagreements without any concern for being helpful.

Recently I've received comments containing both kinds of criticism. Some of it seems to be well placed and constructive. And some of it seems less than constructive. The hard part about it is that criticism is painful.

Even constructive criticism, if intentionally worded, can be needlessly hurtful. And while we all experience criticism from time to time, the truth is, criticism only serves to put the ball in our court by giving us a chance to respond. So as I continue working to discover more potential in my life, I'm faced with the challenging question - how will I respond to criticism?

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Babies hold the universal secret to an awesome prayer life

Prayer can be so frustrating. Not only is it hard to find time to pray, but when you finally sit down to dig in it can feel almost impossible to focus.

At least, that was always my problem. In the past, I've often left prayer times feeling more anxious than when I sat down. I felt like I just couldn't get it. Then not too long ago, I felt God calling me to pray more. I told Him I wasn't any good at it, and He revealed the secret to me - through my two year old son. 

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What I learned from the heartstopping thrill of teaching my teenager to drive

Remember the first time you got behind the wheel of a car, and got that feeling of being nervous and excited all at the same time? Next to you sat your driving instructor, or one of your parents who told you to put on your seat-belt and adjust all your mirrors. Then you put the car in gear, and set your foot on the pedal. After that, you had one of two experiences.

Alura backing out of the driveway.

You either had a great experience, where you listened and drove relatively safely. And your instructor congratulated you on a job well done. Or...

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Your church has the same problem as my blog. What a coincidence!

For the last two weeks, I put away my guitar to preach at my church. I get to do it a few times a year, and I always love it. I like coming up with a captivating intro, and then working to make a Bible story come to life for the people at my church.

Photo courtesy of Kah-Wai Lin at Flickr.com

And over the last couple of weeks, I've realized that creating a sermon is, in a lot of ways, just like writing a blog post. And a church family is, in a lot of ways, just like a community of readers for a blog. 

I could go on about the similarities between a church and a blog. But most over the last couple of weeks, I've noticed again and again how my blog has a lot of the same problems as many of the churches I've worked at. And the problem is this:

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6 Lessons Cage Fighting Taught Me About My Spiritual Life

Once I fought this mammoth of a man, named Marvin. Before our fight, he was standing in his corner literally just doing back-flips. It was intimidating... and confusing. When the bell rang, we touched gloves and started fighting. Almost right away, he connected with a right hook that felt like a cinder block hitting the side of my head. I immediately thought I'm done, I don't want to do this anymore.

Photo courtesy of MartialArtsNomad.com at Flickr.com

Being a Christian is, in a lot of ways, like being a cage fighter. As a result, there are some significant similarities, and lessons that Christians can draw from competition fighting. Fighting and Christianity are so analogous, in fact, that Paul draws the picture, in the Bible, while writing to a young pastor named Timothy. 

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Tim 6:12

In addition to Paul's words, there are a surprising number of other ways that fighting is similar to following Jesus. Here are the six that have most impacted me.

1. "It's all about how you fight when you're tired." When I'm sparring and I begin to get exhausted, my trainer reminds me of the former statement. The truth is, when you're in the final round, and you've already given everything you've got, you still have to keep going. In that moment, it's all about how you fight when you're tired.

It's the same for Christians. Jesus was a great example of this. The gospel books all recount roman guards beating, mocking and blaspheming Jesus just before they crucified him. That was more than a little unpleasant for Jesus. And in that moment, it would have been easy for Jesus to relent, break his bindings, call down an army of angels, and crush anyone who stood against him. But he didn't. He stayed the course and led with love; even to the point of asking God to forgive his abusers. And we face the same calling. When we're tired, and beat down by the world and critical people, it's important to remember James' immortal words that point us to an attitude like Jesus':

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires" James 1:19-20

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2 Fool Proof Ways To Stellar Creativity For Creativity-Challenged Leaders

Easter is over, and now it's time to take a quick breath before you begin planning for Christmas; which is fine because all you have to do is come up with something super memorable, or relevant, or whatever it is your church values. But one way or another, it's your responsibility to make it awesome.

Photo courtesy of Ramnath Bhat at Flickr.com

 Easy right? maybe not. If you're anything like me, the pressure of having to make everything awesome can make feel crushing. From time to time, I find myself sitting at my desk, staring at a blank page, with a dumb gaping stare. I feel filled with fear and doubt about whether or not I'll be able to come up with anything worth while. But here's the problem with that. My fear and doubt don't show very much trust in God.

When I give into insecurity about my creative abilities, I'm also doubting that God has done a good job at guiding my life. It's like I'm indirectly saying God, you screwed up. You could have selected a better profession for me, or given me a different set of spiritual gifts. But that's a bad way of looking at my life, obviously. It keeps me from seeing the blessings of who He made me to be.

The truth is, God didn't give me a highly advanced sense of creativity. And it's also true that my job, like yours, requires a high level of creativity. But my job description never says anything about me needing to be the creative person on my team. And I'm guessing yours doesn't either.

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Get the Most Out of Your Accountability Relationships

Accountability & hooking up
I remember my high school health teacher warning the class about casual sex. He told us to be careful because it's easy to rack up a large number of sexual partners without even realizing it. The same principle may be true with accountability partners.

It makes sense to say, the more accountability the better... right? Maybe not.

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The One Thing Every Mentor Should Be Doing

Mentoring is just about the best thing you can do to discover your potential. And I'm talking about both having a mentor and mentoring someone else.

The right mentor will encourage you, call you out on your B.S., push you toward the right opportunities, and ultimately help you to see what you're really capable of. And the right mentee will inspire and challenge you to offer your best ideas. 

The wrong mentor, on the other hand, will needlessly frustrate you, and encourage you to pursue opportunities that could be destructive for you. Similarly, the wrong mentee will drain you, and drive you toward burnout. 

So what's the difference between the right mentor/mentee for you, and the wrong one? 

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The Crucial Conversation You Need To Have With Your Team Members

Last night I sat at my patio table with one of my team members. We had a very important conversation. He is at an important crossroad in his life, but we didn't talk about that. Our church is at a crucial juncture that will determine it's survival, but we didn't talk about that either.

Instead, we spent about 90 minutes talking about... whatever. We just sat in the cool night air and chatted. It was great, and we both needed it. 

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Here's A Tool To Unite Your Team At The Beginning Of A Meeting

I'm always looking for great new ways to unite my team right at the outset of meetings and rehearsals. My team members all come in carrying the world on their shoulders. So I like to do a good icebreaker. It's not that they need to get to know each other. They're all very close. What they need is something to bring them together. 

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What Are You Doing For Your MVP?

Meet Edward

Edward was a great pastor, who had a huge heart for people.  In his community, he was renown as a godly leader to such a degree that his advice was frequently sought out by people who didn't even attend his church. Everybody knew they could call pastor Edward, and he would make time for them.

One day Ed got a call from one of his church's regular attenders - a woman named Sharon. She had been struggling with depression for some time, and confessed that today she was thinking about taking her own life. Ed was shaken. He felt a deep sense of personal responsibility for the people who looked to him for guidance.  Fortunately, he was able to talk her out of suicide and into an inpatient recovery home. Good job Ed. He continued to care for Sharon with weekly visits to the recovery home.

The next week he got a call from an old friend, who asked him if he would consider taking a spot fielding phone calls on a local radio station's counseling show. It was an exciting opportunity to do something Ed really loved, so he said yes.

The next week, Ed had three walk in congregants who needed his help for various things. With a huge burden for the people in his church he did everything he could to help them. Pretty soon, Ed was working an extra 10 hours a week. As his family began to feel the burn, he started cutting corners in other areas of his job to keep up with his rigorous counseling agenda. His sermons were getting sloppy, and he wasn't communicating well with his team. Ed's leadership was beginning to spiral out of control, and he was feeling it.

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14 Ways To Build A Tighter Praise Team In 2014

The praise team sauntered off stage after worship. They knew that everyone has their bad weeks, but this was beyond bad. Afterwards, they sat together silently. Nobody wanted to be the first one to say it. After a few moments, the band leader spoke up, “What do you think went wrong?” The rest of the team hung their heads even lower.

Through his hands the electric guitar player muttered, “It sounded terrible. That’s what went wrong.” He wasn’t wrong. It did sound terrible. The instruments were off so much that music was nearly unrecognizable. One song got off to such a rocky start that the band leader actually had to stop the band and start the song again. Everyone felt terrible.

So what’s a team like this to do?

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007 Offers A Lesson In Evangelism

Tim H. Swanson

What's your favorite James Bond movie? Are you into the classics like Dr. No or Goldfinger? Or do you prefer the more recent ones like Casino Royal and Skyfall?

Maybe you're not partial to one film,  maybe it's one of the Bonds you love. Is it Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Connery, or one of the other guys. Right now I'm all about the current Bond, Daniel Craig. That guy is hardcore.

The other night I was watching the newest 007 flick, Skyfall, and I realized that Bond movies offer a really valuable piece of insight into evangelism for the church. 

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The Take Part Worship Conference Is Coming: Tickets Are Now Available!

For the last few months, my team has been working with Worship!Arizona to interview worship leaders. We've discovered that worship leaders and their teams almost never get to focus on just leading worship during church services. Nearly every person we talked to wears multiple hats at their church, and nobody was exempt from battling everyday life challenges. We designed The Take Part Worship Conference to give you tools that will help you manage your various hats and other distractions to get you back to what you love about leading worship - participating in your relationship with God.

• Do worship services produce more stress than release for you? 

• Does service planning take so much time that you hardly have any left for personal worship?

• Do extra responsibilities make it hard for you to focus while you're leading worship?

If any of these made you say 'yes', this conference is for you. The Take Part Conference is a day of worship and hands-on workshops designed to help you navigate extra responsibilities (Stage Design, Audio, Visuals, Rehearsals, Service Programming, etc.) that can turn into a distraction for you, and in turn your team and your church during services.

If you register before January 15th, you'll get pre-registration pricing on tickets for you and your team. 

Who Should Attend?

The Take Part Conference attracts worship leaders and their teams who want to take their congregation to a place of intimate worship, but battle with distraction. 

We're expecting a sold out conference with worship leaders and their team members including:

• Worship Leaders
• Instrumentalists
• Vocalists
• Audio Technicians
• Video Technicians
• Visual Technicians
• Set Design/Construction Team Members
• Service Programming Team Members
• Songwriters
• Other Fine Arts Team Members

Who Will Be Speaking?

This heart focusing worship conference features some of the brightest and most experienced minds in our worship community. These are worship and ministry leaders who, like you, work week after week to create church services that connect the hearts of their church family with God. But most importantly, during the conference they'll share their experience and successes with you. These are just a few of the speakers we have lined up.

• Jeff Merry - Worship Pastor of more than 25 years. He is the founder of Worship!Arizona and WorshipNet.org. He has mentored and coached countless worship leaders, pastors and other church volunteers.

• Tracy Williams - The Director of Worship Bands, Jazz Band and Guitar Studies at Arizona Christian University. Tracy has traveled the world playing guitar for Ray Charles, Jay Leno, Al Green, Bob Hope, and many others. 

• John Peterson - Worship Pastor and various other pastoral roles for more than 20 years. He has spent his career leading worship for churches all over the country. 

• The Arizona Christian University Public Relations Worship Team - It's not a fancy name, but this praise team is made up of students who dedicate their lives and educations to worshipping God. They'll be leading worship for the conference.

And of course I'll be speaking too. I'll be giving a keynote during one of the main sessions and working to make your experience outstanding. 

Where Will It Be Held?

A huge stressor for many worship leaders is the limitations of our facilities. Some of us have to set up and tear down every week, others have ancient buildings that are falling apart. Nearly all of us struggle, in one way or another, with the limitations of space.

For that reason we're holding the Take Part Conference at my home church, Moon Valley Bible Church. I want the opportunity to show you the innovative ways that my team members work to overcome the issues posed by working along side other ministries and organizations that use our sanctuary, and the frustrations that come with having old buildings that seemingly work against us. 

Moon Valley Bible Church (Click here for a map)

16207 N. 3rd Ave

Phoenix, AZ 85023

Why Should You Attend?
All the session will be focused on how to create the worship experience that removes distractions so you, your team, and your church can connect with God. You'll walk away from the day with new relationships with other worship leaders, practical advice for improving your worship environment, and a list of ideas for how to remove distractions and take worship at your church to the next level. 

Question: What is the number one struggle you face on a weekly basis as you plan for worship?

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6 Ways To Keep Your Fire Bright

Tim H. Swanson

"How do you stay motivated?" That's what one of my mentees asked me last week while we were sitting around a fire in my backyard. He told me he struggled staying motivated to do anything for more than two weeks at a time before burning out and giving up.

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The Great Battle of Heart Vs. Skill

Tim H. Swanson

Imagine two people want to join your team. 

Now they're both after the same position, so you can only choose one of them. The first one has heart. He loves what your team stands for. He's passionate and his values line up with those of your team. There's just one problem. He's not very skilled. For what you'd need him to do, he'd be considered a beginner. He doesn't have any real experience to speak of, but he does have heart.  

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A Sweet Old Woman Told Me Off With One Word

Tim H. Swanson

It's no secret around my church that I'm in recovery. I have been for a long time. I work the steps, have a sponsor, and attend meetings - at least, that's what I'm supposed to do to maintain my mental and spiritual health. But sometimes life gets busy. That's when I start making excuses, and sidestepping important things for urgent things. Recently, I was confronted on this in a very sobering way.

It was a Friday afternoon. I was in the middle of building a backdrop for the church's stage, and finishing some other last minute details for a worship album release I was hosting the very next night. I walked out the rear door of my green-room and bumped into a church member. She's in her 70's, and she regularly attends the recovery meetings that are hosted at my church. She was walking into the room next to the green-room to attend an A.A. meeting that takes place there every Friday. We are familiar with each other's recovery stories, so we stopped and caught up for a second. Before I walked away I commented, "I have to come to this Friday meeting one of these days" (not the first time I've said that to her).

The frail perm haired woman looked into the room and then back at me, "why don't you just come right now?" Fearful of the idea of losing more than an hour of my precious workday, I hemmed and hawed about how much I had to do to prepare for the release. As I listed my burdens, she stood there looking unimpressed. When I was done talking, she uttered one word, "weak." Then she turned and walked into the meeting room, leaving me standing stupified outside the door.

I know what I need to do for my own health (so did that sweet old lady who told me off), but actually doing it is another thing entirely. I let urgent things overtake important things. Then my life gets out of control. The worst part is I'm not the only one who pays for that. When my life is chaos, my family, my team members, my friends - they all pay for it too. I hate that.

Are you like me? Does your life get a little out of whack when deadlines get tight? If that's the case then let me ask you another question. What would become possible if you picked one urgent thing and one important thing this week and swapped them. If you allowed just one urgent thing to fall off the list and moved one important thing into action? You could begin a shift to a healthier life.

Question: What's one important thing that you've been putting off in favor of the urgent?

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What Does Your Church Tell Your Guests?

Tim H. Swanson

Nick hates church. He considers himself an atheist, and he thinks spirituality is creepy and counter-intuitive. But, he's in a bad place. You see, his wife just walked out on him, and he can't stop his crippling addiction to alcohol. He feels hopeless and lonely. Oh yeah, and he's coming to your church this weekend. Sorry, I almost forgot to mention that. 

Nick's neighbor is a regular attender at your church who has been diligently working to build a relationship with Nick in order to share his faith. Now your church member has taken the big step, he's invited Nick to your church. Normally, Nick would politely say, "no" to this kind of thing and scoff at a spiritual person when he turns away. But this week Nick is at a low point, and he agreed to go. 

So, how will your church make a guy like Nick feel? He is walking into the auditorium with a few preconceived notions:

1. Christians are stupid. They believe something that doesn't make rational sense. The idea that a man could die and raise from the dead by his own power is ludicrous.

2. Christianity is a sham. It's a worldwide organization that dupes people out of their money.

3. I'm not safe at church. They'll judge a guy like me at church. They judge everybody who doesn't believe the way they do.

On Sunday morning, Nick will walk through the doors and everything he sees will work to either reinforce or defuse his hangups about God's people. And I'm talking about more than just what happens in your service. 

Atlanta pastor, Andy Stanley, frequently and correctly points out that you begin making impressions on new people when they first enter your parking lot. Then you continually build trust or lose it with every little step along the way: Parking lot greeters, children's ministry check-in, your coffee shop barista, ushers, lobby furniture, seats in the auditorium, stage design, style of music, personalities of people on stage, etc. And notice that all these items have one thing in common - they have nothing to do with the gospel. They make up the experience that people have on Sunday morning. And that experience is entirely different than the content (i.e. the gospel). Of course the presentation of God's Word is the whole point of getting together on Sunday. If we weren't going to engage with Jesus, there'd be no point in doing any of it. However, all those little 'experience' things that people come across between their car and their seat will play a role in engaging or distracting people. 

CHALLENGE
Have a look at your Sunday morning experience, and I'm talking about more than just the hour or hour and a half that your actual service consumes. As you review the things you typically do, ask yourself this question - "What message does my church send before the message?" Every environment, ministry, person, and detail work together to make people feel more comfortable or more uncomfortable. 

When (not if) you find things, don't feel discouraged. Instead, begin a list of things that could be improved to assist in helping your guests feel like they're in a safe environment. The ultimate goal is not to look cool or trendy, although that may be what your campus needs. The ultimate goal is to create a space that allows people to engage with Jesus when the band gets up to play, and the pastor preaches the message. 

HERE'S WHAT I'M DOING
Once a year, I rip apart my stage and redo the backdrop. The goal is to create a clean, creative backdrop that draws people's attention to the stage, but doesn't upstage anybody who is sharing valuable information. For that reason, I tell my creative teams that our goal with stage design is "stunning simplicity". 

This was last year's design.
I'll post the new one when it's finished.

Redesigning your stage is just one simple way to create a more welcoming experience for people on Sunday morning. There are tens of thousands of things you can do. Some are more expensive than others, and at any given time there are things that cost little or no money. If you want to learn more about this topic, check out Andy Stanley's book, Deep and Wide, for some brilliant ideas on how to create a church that unchurched people love to attend. If you're new to the idea of stage design, check out this blog - churchstagedesignideas.com. 

What things have you done to your Sunday experience to make people feel welcome?

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