Remember the first time you got behind the wheel of a car, and got that feeling of being nervous and excited all at the same time? Next to you sat your driving instructor, or one of your parents who told you to put on your seat-belt and adjust all your mirrors. Then you put the car in gear, and set your foot on the pedal. After that, you had one of two experiences.
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| Alura backing out of the driveway. |
More likely, your experience was more anxiety producing. Maybe you forgot some of those important traffic laws, and even came close enough to danger that you caused your passenger to shriek and grab that little handle that's just above the door. At least's what my experience was like.
When I was fifteen, my high school driver's ed teacher, Mr. Tofflemier, took me driving. I was a little nervous, which made my hands really clammy. I went to make a right hand turn at the first intersection we came to and the steering wheel slipped out of my hands sending the car careening toward the median. I managed not to crash, but I clearly remember thinking How could I make such a stupid mistake?
Fast forward fifteen years.
Now I have a fifteen year old daughter. And I get the distinguished and terrifying privilege of teaching her to drive. When I got in the car, with her behind the wheel for the first time, I was surprised as that same nervousness from driving with Mr. Tofflemier came back. Only this time I wasn't nervous because I didn't know how to drive. I was nervous because I realized I was responsible for teaching my daughter the skills and habits she will need to keep herself and her passengers safe. It's a huge responsibility.
Alura has been driving for a couple months now, and she's learned a ton about driving. And I've learned a lot about teaching an impressionable teen the rules of the road. So here are three of my imperatives for teaching teens to drive.
Understand the difference between explaining and shaming. There's a thin, but well defined line between explaining a driving law to your teen, and shaming him for not following the law. The difference comes with the tone of voice you use to correct him. When your teen makes a mistake, which he will, shouting at him will develop a sense of shame. He may remember what you said, but he'll also feel bad about himself every time he does. The best way to approach mistakes is to catch your breath, maybe have her pull over, and when you feel calm enough explain what she can do better next time. That'll allow him to retain the information, without years of useless shame attached.
Remember that driving instruction never stops. Alura learns driving habits from me every single time we get in the car, whether I'm driving or she is. And it's the same with your teen. Once he starts learning to drive, he'll notice everything you do. And here's a hint, your kid isn't going to bother obeying the laws that you don't.
Give your teen a pants wetting talk. I live in Arizona, where guns are as plentiful as water. Actually, they're more plentiful than water her. But when people in Arizona teach their children how to shoot a gun, the smart ones say something like, "You have to be very careful while you're holding this, because it gives you the power to take another person's life." Well, a car gives a person the exact same power, and it's important for your teen to understand that. So while you don't want to shame him, you do want him to have a healthy fear for the responsibility he's taking on. So at some point, preferably while he's behind the wheel, have a short, but stern talk about the dangers associated with driving.
Teach your teen the main roads in your town. Get a hold of a map of your city, and teach your teen all of the main North-South & East-West roads. My dad did this with my sister, and I've heard her talk about how much it's helped her out. If you'd like, you can even give your teen a test before he gets his license. He'll love that.
Be honest about breaking the law. Eventually your teen is going to regularly disregard important driving laws. Don't worry too much about it. He'll have learned it from you, and you're a decent driver. So as you're teaching him to drive, be honest about your philosophy on breaking driving laws. I tell Alura that she needs to learn all the rules before she can break any of them. Eventually she'll be able to go with the flow of traffic (even if the flow is 5 miles an hour over the speed limit), but for now, she has to stick to the speed limit.
These are just a few, obviously there are way more, but I want to know from you. What is the most important thing you heard or wish you had heard when you started driving? Please leave your comment in the space below.
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