3 ways to give teenagers the respect they need to become mature adults

Alura was 12 when I married her mom and became her dad. At first, her need from me was simple. She needed to time to build trust. Now she's 16 and we've built a lot of trust, but her needs have changed too.

As a teenager, she still has lots of needs. But, in my mind, one stands above the rest. Like all teenagers, Alura needs to be respected by Allison and me.

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Dads and grandpas, here's why you're losing our respect

If there's anything a man wants to leave behind when his life is over, it's a great legacy. We're wired to want to be great and impact the world. It's the reason we build large businesses, strive to be great husbands and fathers, do scientific research, overcome impossible odds, and never stop working to become better.

Photo courtesy of Nicholas at Flickr.com

Many men have left incredible legacies behind. By working hard to stand for something more than themselves, men like Ghandi, George Washington, and Martin Luther King Jr. have left us asking what we're capable of.

And even beyond them, there are great men who never reached celebrity status who are shaping the world and leaving great legacies. They're husbands, fathers, and career minded men who become living examples of excellence to everyone around them. But as time and technology reshape our world, many men who might have once been great are proving themselves incredible fools to everyone around them.

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Thankfully, I pranked my daughter until she cried

Parenting isn't an exact science... In fact it's not a science at all. It's more of an art. An art where the rules and methods change every day. Sometimes you screw up and it's bad. Other times you screw up and somehow it turns out good.

A few days ago I played a prank on Scarlett that left her in tears, but with the way things turned out neither of us would have it any other way.

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Taking the guess work out of finding God's call on your life

Have you ever met those Christians who are really confident in God's calling on their life. They say things like, "I just really sense his leading in my spirit." And then you smile and nod, all the while thinking, What? How come I can never sense anything in my spirit? Is this guy full of it, or is there something I don't know?

Photo courtesy of Hamed Saber at Flickr.com

Maybe you don't feel like you have the same highly refined spiritual sniffer that some people seem to have, but that's okay because you don't need it. God has already given you everything you need to know what exactly what direction he wants you to go. 

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How to relate with your stepkids about their baby daddies.

You've probably noticed that your girlfriend or wife doesn't have the best things to say about her ex(s), which makes good sense in light of the fact that their relationships didn't last. And it can be comforting to hear your girl talk about how much other men fall short of you. But when you date or marry someone who has kids with with their ex, that person takes on a whole new position in your life. And you have to learn to respond differently in turn. 

Photo courtesy of Damian Bakarcic at flickr.com

When you're raising someone else's kid, you're forced to face different aspects of their biological dad just by nature of the fact that you've got his offspring running around your house. And how you treat and talk about your child's baby daddy will have a huge impact on his/her life and relationship with you.

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4 parenting half measures I'm striving to overcome

All parents pretty much have the same goal - to love their kids and teach them to be successful. Many parents have their own definitions of success. Some really want to teach their kids respect, others want their kids to be able to make a lot of money, and some just want their kids to be happy.

This photo was taken by Mik Sivak from Sivak Photography. He does spectacular work,

Regardless of what you value as a parent, we all want to see our kids succeed. But in spite of the greatest desires of parents, our world keeps churning out generation after generation of kids who are totally messed up. So what gives? Where is the disconnect? Where is it that parents are letting down their kids?

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Dads! How to teach your daughter to be a woman in today's world.

Being a woman today is exponentially more complicated than it was a hundred years ago. There was a time when all a woman needed to know was how to pop out kids and obey her husband. And it just ain't that way anymore.

Today, many women aren't just mothers. They're working mothers, which means they have to choose between the bottom line of the home and spending time with their kids. And married women aren't just housewives. They're co-executors of their homes alongside their husbands.

Things just aren't as simple as they used to be... which isn't a bad thing. I think the evolution of women's rights has obviously been a good thing. But if you're a Dad to a little girl, it does mean you have your work cut out for you.

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How to get more than one word answers out of asking your kids about their day.

If insanity is defined as repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, then there are a lot of completely nut job parents out there. So many of us ask our kids the same barrage of lame questions every afternoon - Did you have a good day? How was school? What did you learn today? What do you have for homework? etc. 

Photo courtesy of Katie Laird at Flickr.com

And our questions always evoke the same uninspired answers from our kids - Fine. Nothing. I don't know, Whatever. And the worst thing about it is not that it's insanity. It's the fact that, when we have repetitive conversations with out kids, we are spending our time (just like we spend our money) and we have little to nothing to show for it.

We get precious little time with our kids. So it's important that we don't waste it. Fortunately for all of us, there are better ways.

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The sex and waiting talk that my teenager said was awesome

These days, it's hard to teach kids and teens to hold off on exploring sex. Whether you think it's best for them to wait for marriage or you just want them to wait until they're ready, convincing your kids to keep their bodies to themselves comes with a lot of challenges. 

We live in a world were sex is idolized and advertised to young people. Even books and movies aimed at teens are packed with sex appeal. It makes the idea of waiting sound really lame to our kids. And parents also have to contend with their own worst enemy - themselves.

I've always struggled to find a good way to talk to my kids about waiting because... I didn't wait. I believe that the absolute best thing for them is to wait until they're married to have sex. But I feel really hypocritical about trying to convince them to do something I've never done.

Then last week I found myself in the middle of a conversation with my teenage daughter, Alura.  And while I typically write about lessons that come out of my failures, this one was a tic in the win column. Here's how everything went down. And before I begin, I want to invite you to leave your thoughts and criticisms in the comment section below (and obviously, I got Alura's permission to post this).

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The best parenting advice I've ever received

Being a parent is tough work. It's a 24/7 job that never ends. And it's hard enough without us making it harder on ourselves. But that's what a lot of parents do. They make parenting way more physically and emotionally painful than it has to be.

I'm familiar with this because I tend to do it to myself. When it comes to raising my kids, I complicate and confuse things with my own ego and attitude. And at first I didn't even realize I was doing it. But fortunately for me, I got a great piece of advice when I was just getting started that has made all the difference.

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Don't let big moments slip through the cracks... also probably the worst harmonizing you've ever heard [Video]

"The truth is, you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed."  - Eminem

In 2011, I graduated from Arizona Christian University with a degree in Music. Today I make my living by leading people in singing at church. There's just one problem, and this is not something I like to admit, I'm terrible at harmonizing. In fact, I do just about whatever I can to avoid it.

Photo courtesy of my beautiful wife Allison, who requires no recognition but deserves tons.

But just now, as I sat down to read a really great book, my 16 year old daughter plopped down next to me with her guitar and big bright puppy eyes. And I wasn't about to say no - even if I was scared.

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My kid renounced her faith, here's how I responded (SPOILER: it wasn't by screaming myself horse, though it crossed my mind).

Disclaimer: I always check with my family before I air our business over the internet. I asked Alura if I could share this with you, and she was all like, "I don't care", which is teenager for yes. 

One of the best parts of raising kids is watching and helping them grow. The first step, first word and first romance are just a few of the rewarding times that we parents get to come along side our kids and guide and direct them.

Coincidentally, one of the most difficult parts of raising kids is watching them grow up. There comes a season in every kid's life where they've had a lot of their firsts. It's a time where they begin to want and even need to step out from under our guidance and direction to make their own decisions. Sometimes it's exciting, but the rest of the time it can be flat out terrifying - like the time Alura told Allison and I she's not a Christian anymore.

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6 Things to love and loath about raising teenagers.

When I was 16, I swore to myself that I would never turn into my father. I thought he was the most uncool, out of touch, meanest, controlling person on the planet. I thought I'll never raise my kids this way. I'll be so much better. He doesn't get me, nobody gets me. Psh!

Fast-forward a bit and now I have a 16 year old of my own. Her name is Alura, and she has become my beautiful, spectacular reality check.

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