If there's anything a man wants to leave behind when his life is over, it's a great legacy. We're wired to want to be great and impact the world. It's the reason we build large businesses, strive to be great husbands and fathers, do scientific research, overcome impossible odds, and never stop working to become better.
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| Photo courtesy of Nicholas at Flickr.com |
And even beyond them, there are great men who never reached celebrity status who are shaping the world and leaving great legacies. They're husbands, fathers, and career minded men who become living examples of excellence to everyone around them. But as time and technology reshape our world, many men who might have once been great are proving themselves incredible fools to everyone around them.
What's this doohickey?
As a kid, watching grown ups try to figure out new technology was a blast. It was the one thing that my friends and I were great at that adults couldn't figure out. Email, smartphones, video games, and the internet forced our parents to admit what we already knew - they didn't get it.
Eventually technology became intuitive enough that even our parents and grandparents began using it. Suddenly our moms, dads, aunts, uncles, nanas, and papas began using social media outlets like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. And we were surprised and turned off by what we're learning about the men (and even women) we have always looked up to.
Since this post is pointed toward men, I'll talk to you like you're men. I'm sure you can handle and will appreciate being spoken to frankly. My goal here isn't to be disrespectful in any way.
What is turning us off about your posts.
Presidential Slams. Men, you keep posting jokes and slams about what a bumbling idiot Obama is. We get it, you didn't vote for him, and you don't like him. But I want to prompt you to think about this: It is difficult to give respect to someone who is consistently disrespectful toward others.Sarcasm, mockery, and bullying are all the same thing - weakness. They're sure signs of insecurity and fear. We hear you telling us what a treasonous, double tongued man he is, but what kind of patriot has zero respect for the leader of his own country?
I won't pretend that I play for Obama's team. But when I'm scrolling through my Facebook feed and see the latest anti-Obama propaganda, I don't feel more angry at the President... I just lose more respect for the man who posted it.
Ethnic and religious slams. Yesterday I saw a video in my timeline that was titled, "Hilarious: Watch Muslims Try to Use An Escalator." And the guy who posted it put something in the comments like, "This is hilarious, we should put Escalators all over America." There's just one problem with that comment - It's not the 1950's anymore, and when you post something like that it just sounds racist.
If my generation has learned anything, it's that people deserve respect regardless of their color or creed. We recognize that other world religions like Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, etc., all have long rich histories just like Christianity. And even if we don't agree with them, we believe they deserve basic human respect.
We've also learned that people who are ready to judge others based on rough stereotypes are close minded. And if you want anyone to take you seriously, you're going to need to learn to pay real respect to people who are different than you... or at the very least stop posting jokes and slams about them.
'Calling people out' for their views and opinions. We expect some people to use Facebook to confront others and have their arguments - we call those people teenagers. They're the ones that we fully expect to call each other names, and hash out their personal business in front of everyone else. They're hormonal, they can't help it. But when a fully grown adult man does it... it's off putting.
You wouldn't stand up in the middle of your office to call out a coworker would you? You wouldn't choose dinner time to spark up an argument with a family member about immigration, or taxes would you?
Well, Facebook is no different than that. It's just a much bigger dinner table, with many more people talking. As a mature man, your place is at the head of that table. But you have to earn that position today. And nobody wants to empower a man (or woman for that matter) who can't or won't control his tongue.
Posting pictures of things that offend you. This one really feels like it should be more obvious. If you are driving down the street and you see something that offends you... don't take a picture of it and post if on Facebook.
The other day I saw someone post a picture of a strip club bill board with a comment about how horrible it is to have to see stuff like that. I agree, it is horrible... and lacking in common sense.
The gay rights fight. Recently, I had dinner with a group of young non-Christian guys. During that dinner I asked them what they thought were 5 blind spots of Christians in society today. They gave me some great feedback. But one of the most consistent things I heard was that we are blind, bigoted, ignorant, and threatened by people who are different than us. And the gay rights movement is probably the best example of this.
My generation is not as up in arms about the gay rights movement as Gen-Xers and Baby Boomers. Even if we don't agree with their lifestyle, we widely believe that they should at least have the right to decide for themselves, especially if they don't call themselves Christians.
What else would we have you do?
So what else would we have you do? I mean, if we're going to point out a bunch of areas where you're missing the mark, then shouldn't we at least offer our opinion of how you can do better? And if you're still reading, then maybe you're open minded enough to be teachable. So here's some brief input.
You've got influence, use it for something amazing. Instead of spending time and energy on videos that make fun of Muslims, share your life with us. After all, that's what social media is all about. It's just a bunch of people sharing their lives with each other.
Better yet, focus on using your influence to impact the lives of young men and women. Instead of posting disparaging jokes about our President, encourage young people to get involved with politics and grow their own awareness.
And best of all - leave the ultimate legacy by investing your time in other men who are younger than you. Find a young pathless man (this can even be your son), and help him find a road to walk down. Use your experience to shape the emerging generations. By doing that, you'll leave a legacy that will outlive your name, and shape the world to come.
Okay, so what do you think? Do you agree, or did I miss the mark with this one? I'd love to hear from you. Leave a comment in the section below.
Warmly,
Tim
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