Dads and grandpas, here's why you're losing our respect

If there's anything a man wants to leave behind when his life is over, it's a great legacy. We're wired to want to be great and impact the world. It's the reason we build large businesses, strive to be great husbands and fathers, do scientific research, overcome impossible odds, and never stop working to become better.

Photo courtesy of Nicholas at Flickr.com

Many men have left incredible legacies behind. By working hard to stand for something more than themselves, men like Ghandi, George Washington, and Martin Luther King Jr. have left us asking what we're capable of.

And even beyond them, there are great men who never reached celebrity status who are shaping the world and leaving great legacies. They're husbands, fathers, and career minded men who become living examples of excellence to everyone around them. But as time and technology reshape our world, many men who might have once been great are proving themselves incredible fools to everyone around them.

Read More

Taking the guess work out of finding God's call on your life

Have you ever met those Christians who are really confident in God's calling on their life. They say things like, "I just really sense his leading in my spirit." And then you smile and nod, all the while thinking, What? How come I can never sense anything in my spirit? Is this guy full of it, or is there something I don't know?

Photo courtesy of Hamed Saber at Flickr.com

Maybe you don't feel like you have the same highly refined spiritual sniffer that some people seem to have, but that's okay because you don't need it. God has already given you everything you need to know what exactly what direction he wants you to go. 

Read More

Quick Question. Did Jesus ever feel turned on?

He's easily among the most significant people of all time. Many think of him as a good teacher or a moral man, like Gandhi or Mother Theresa. But that's who he claimed to be. During his life on earth, Jesus made one thing abundantly clear - he claimed to be God.

Photo courtesy of Siebuhr at flickr.com

And the rest of the Bible agrees with him. The book of John calls Jesus by one of his nicknames, The Word. It says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God... and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us" (John 1:1 & 14). For Christians, the idea behind these verses is that Jesus Christ is simultaneously fully God, and fully man.

And it raises some interesting questions. Not long ago, during a mentoring meeting, a young man asked me this, "Did Jesus ever get a boner?" Which is a great question.

Read More

What kind of IDIOT walks away from his dream job for something way harder?... This guy!

For the last four years, I have been doing my dream job. I've been employed at Moon Valley Bible Church as the Director of Sunday Services. Not only have I gotten to lead Moon Valley in worship each week, but I've had the chance to work alongside some of the finest members of the church I've ever known. So why am I leaving?

It's easy. I found a job that's way harder, that I've never done before, and that comes with next to no security! Let me explain.

Read More

An update on the guy who sent my daughter a naughty text

If young men need one thing, aside from knowing they've been made with painstaking care in God's image, it's direct personal guidance from older men who have the experience they're after. When young men don't get this guidance, they tend to unwittingly go looking in the wrong place for it. That's when they turn to things like drugs, alcohol, degrading sex, porn, anger, violence, gangs, etc. They fill their lives with that stuff. And it's the reason we live in a country where 40% of children born today are going home without a father.

photo courtesy of Garry Knight at Flickr.com

It's not pretty to think about, especially when the solution is mind numbingly simple. All that young men need in order to get their lives back on track is enough pain to know they need to change, and a living example of a better life. Let me explain.

It's in the past
About 6 months ago, I posted about a conversation I had with a young man, in my church's youth group, who sent a naughty text to my daughter. I gave him a very direct and very blunt warning about respecting women. I told him that, if he didn't learn to respect other people, and specifically women, he was going to end up alone.

Read More

Look at what quitting porn did for me. You'll wonder why more guys aren't giving it up

How much does porn cost? Many of the guys reading this are thinking Uh, I only look at the free stuff. And the rest are thinking Great, he's going to give me a guilt trip by telling me how much it's costing my soul. 

Photo courtesy of nebojsa mladjenovic at Flickr.com

Nope. There are spiritual ramifications, but that's not what I'm talking about. There's a cost of looking at porn that the vast majority of guys don't ever calculate. It's not monetary, it's not spiritual, or even relational. In order to explain it, let me ask you another question.

How much time do you think guys spend looking at porn?

Read More

A thought about your life and death right from the mouth of Robin Williams

I wanted to give you a pithy article about Robin Williams with some of his quotes, since he was one of my heroes, and - lets face it, that's what every other blogger is doing this week.

Photo courtesy of Bago Games at Flickr.com

So I began doing some research on his life, looking for some great quotes about living a great life, or being funny, or something like that. What I found wasn't anything about life or comedy, but about death. And what he said was this:

Read More

The 10 Best Ways to Lead People Who Are Older & More Experienced Than You

Young church leaders don't have it easy. Aside from facing the same wide array of problems and pitfalls as more seasoned leaders, young leaders face one challenge that's unique to them.

Photo courtesy of Famian at flickr.com

Unlike pastors and worship leaders of any other generation, young church leaders are regularly faced with the challenge of leading people who are older and more experienced than them. And it begs the question - How do you lead people who's shoes you couldn't fill?

Read More

How my wife told me she's pregnant & my VERY honest response [Video]

One of my greatest mentors once said, "If God wants something to happen in your life, there's nothing you can do to stop it." And I have found that to be true, especially when it comes to the number of kids I have.

Allison and I had been talking about having another baby for a while. We were pretty much resolved to stick with the three kids we already have. In fact, I had even gotten a referral to a urologist to get snipped.

Read More

What do you say to your mentees when they're ready to give up?

I've been training fighters for a couple years now. And there's one thing almost all new fighters do when they're sparring. A couple minutes into the second or third round, when their arms feel tired, they begin to drop their guard. Their hands slip down, until their elbows are resting on their hips. That leaves them open to whatever their opponent wants to throw at them. And the same thing happens to the young men and women we mentor. As they work to discover more potential in their lives, they will inevitably experience the fatigue that comes with hard work. If you've been mentoring for any period of time at all, you've seen this.

Photo courtesy of FlackJacket2010 at Flickr.com

Read More

The 95 Questions of a Millennial That You'll Want To Be Aware Of

"I get way more out this than you do." That's what one of my mentors frequently says to me, after our conversations. For a long time, I found it hard to believe that could possibly be true.

Photo courtesy of J.K. Califf at flickr.com

Our meetings were always so helpful to me, and I struggled to understand exactly what he got out of listening to my endless lists of problems. I knew from experience that being a mentor is extremely rewarding. But the idea that my mentor got more out of our meetings than I did felt like a stretch - until last week.

Read More