Tim H. Swanson
Do you remember Linus from Charlie Brown? He's the one who never went anywhere without his blue blanket. It was his constant companion. His whole sense of security was tied up in his relationship with his woobie. He held on to it long after he should have grown out of it. Even in the face of his friends telling him it was time to move on, Linus would declare, "I need my blanket!"
The woobie is a beautiful thing - when you're an infant. But as babies grow into children, security blankets will eventually begin to hinder a child's development. Their connection to a security blanket will actually keep them from learning important skills for handling hurt and frustration.Now, this may surprise you, but some leaders have woobies on their teams. Many have them without even realizing it.
About a year and a half ago, at a lunch for worship leaders, one young lady told the story of her drummer. Her and her husband had become friends with this drummer and his wife. But over time the drummer's performance began to slip. He started showing up later and later for rehearsals. It was also evident that he was spending less time preparing. She went on to explain that her conversations with him had yielded little change in his behavior, and it was starting to affect the rest of the team. There was frustration in her voice as she explained everything, and told the other worship leaders she felt like she was out of moves. She knew the guy was bad for the team, but she felt a sense of responsibility to him as a spiritual leader and didn’t want to cut him loose.
Recently, I called that worship leader back to ask her how the situation with her drummer turned out. She told me she kept him on the team for a while after that meeting. Before long he was simply not showing up for services on Sunday morning. She described an ‘ah ha’ moment when she realized the team was actually better off with no drummer than they were trying to work with him. Soon after, she stopped involving him as a drummer on the church’s praise team.
When you care for the people on your team, it can be difficult to gauge when someone has moved from helper to hinderance. Even when it’s easy to recognize a problem person on the team, any good leader knows that moving a team member to the chopping block isn’t always the best move, and certainly not a move to make hastily.
Sometimes people on our teams drop the ball only after they find their lives in shambles. Other times, they’re simply in the middle of learning an important life lesson that serves as a momentary disatraction. So it’s essential to lead with compassion when it comes to seemingly troubled team members. Often a careful and respectful approach will go a long way to restore people who might just be in need of some understanding. But on occasion, a team member will present a consistent problem compounded by an unteachable attitude. When that happens, it’s the leader’s job to take action. That’s not easy when you care for the people on your team. But the worse thing would be to do nothing, and continue to carry your woobie around. Quickly that person will set the standard for the rest of the team.
If you think you might have a team woobie, here are some good steps that I’ve used and seen leaders use to not only restore their team’s health, but lovingly confront people who are seem to be taking away more than they’re giving..
1. Confront an issue before you become a problem. A person with a bad attitude and an unteachable heart is dangerous for a team, but a hot tempered leader is ten times worse. A lot of team woobies get a poor shake because their leader will put up with as much as he can until eventually snapping and saying or doing something regrettable. Acknowledge issues early on. You can use a simple question like, “Hey, I noticed you’ve been late a couple of times in the last week. How’s everything going?” Questions like these do two great things. They show your team members that you care, and they reinforce the standard that the rest of the team relies on to achieve their best.
2. Ask, ask, ask. The story of the worship leader and her drummer begins with the worship leader displaying great wisdom and humility. While gathered at a lunch with other worship leaders, she explained her problem and asked the others if they could shed some light on her situation. There is a wealth of information inside the heads and hearts of the leaders we know. And most of them already want to share their experience with us. All we have to do is take the initiative to ask.
3. Move’em before you lose’em. Even if you have a team member with a terrible and disrespectful attitude, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s time to send him/her packing. In many cases, a simple shift in position can solve your problem. Maybe your team member has another skill that he or she can utilize within the organization. I once had an electric guitar player who wasn’t a good fit for the Sunday morning praise team, but he was an excellent songwriter. I asked him to join the songwriter’s team and help create new music for the church.
Good leaders care for the individuals on their team. But things get dicey really fast when a leader enables one person to bring down everyone else with destructive behavior. As leaders, we have to have the interest of the whole team in mind, which means giving potentially troublesome people attention - the right kind of attention. Being compassionate, and seeking the best for an individual on your team doesn’t necessarily mean that he/she will continue to be a part of the team. But you can be respectful and caring in confrontation and transition. It’s a good practice that is great for your team.
Question: Did you have a woobie when you were a kid? Was it a blanket or a stuffed animal?
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