How This Recovering Sex Addict Plans for a Weekend in Vegas

I love looking for new ways to find more potential in my life and leadership. Anytime I can find a new tool or habit to help me become more effective as a father, mentor and pastor, I'm all about it. But sometimes making progress simply means not repeating mistakes from my past. And that's exactly where my focus is as I get ready to head to Las Vegas with my Father-In-Law next weekend.

Photo courtesy of Moyan Brenn at Flickr.com

I'd like to think that I have the self control to go to Vegas and behave like a responsible adult. But years of failed attempts at self control, have proven that I just don't have what it takes. Even with the best of intentions, I will inevitably make the worst decisions. Whether it was porn, or one night stands, or whatever, I could never seem to make a healthy decision when it came to my sex life.
Fortunately, a few years ago, I discovered a simple program, through which, God has helped me curb my tendency to make terrible choices. Now I'm married to a super gorgeous woman, and I have nothing to hide from her or anyone.

But I still have to be careful because, as one of my mentors puts it, "You're capable today of everything you've ever done." That means that I'm capable of every impulsive thought and action that's written in my past. That means that, when I go to a place like Vegas, I have to be careful - more careful than normal people.

So as I pack my bags, here are a few simple things I'll be doing to protect myself and my marriage.

I'm not going alone. One of the pastors that I look up to has this rule that he won't travel alone. When he's going out of town, he makes sure he's with someone else, or he's going to meet someone that he trusts. Maybe that sounds a little extreme. Well, it isn't. Even if you're not a recovering sex addict, it's easy for people to discredit you when you've got no accountability.

Next week, I'm headed to Vegas with my father-in-law. Now you're probably thinking Oh his father-in-law, that should kill any opportunity for temptation. Think again. My wife's dad has lived almost his entire life in the fast lane. The partying he has done makes my fooling around look like an episode of Care Bears. Fortunately, he's also come to a point in his life where he loves Jesus more than anything, which makes him a great person to travel with.

I have rules for my eyes. No joke. I have two rules for my eyes. This one may also seem a little silly to you. But if you were me, you'd know it's not. You know how they call weed a 'gateway drug'? Well, for me staring is the gateway drug for my eyes. And I have no business doing it.

So when it comes to looking at women: No looking for more than a two mississippi count, and no double takes. Keeping in mind that the goal is not to ogle girls as I slowly count to two mississippi. Two seconds is just the amount of time I need to catch myself starting to stare, and look away.

I'll keep in close contact with my wife, and keep her up to date on what I'm doing. As I'm writing this, I'm imagining what some of my friends would say, "Dude, that sounds like prison. Is your wife your parole officer?" But the truth is being enslaved to unhealthy sexual choices is prison.  Staying connected to my wife is the key to freedom.

Question: Do you have any rules to protect your marriage?
Please leave your response in the comment section below.