by Tim Swanson
I was fourteen years old and sitting next to my Dad during church on Sunday Morning. That was strange for a few reasons. Normally I would attend the youth services where I could get away with a lot more. And When I was a teenager, my Dad and I weren’t each other’s favorite people. Nevertheless, there we sat. As with most church services, the band came out and played a few songs. We sang along. Then the Pastor came out and talked - for a really long time. Finally the band came back and ended with a song. When the song was finally over, I reached down to grab my Bible so I could dart out of there, as was my routine. When I stood back up my Dad caught my attention by putting his hand on my shoulder (something I swore I would never do to my kids, but now I do it regularly). I looked up at him and he said, “Son, You’ve got a nice voice”. I was caught off guard, but managed a ‘thank you’. After that he didn’t bring it up again.
That was fourteen years ago, and I still think about it all the time. I think about how that one compliment has impacted my life. I joined a band two years later. I traveled overseas writing and playing music in my late teens. After high school I enrolled in Southwestern College (now called Arizona Christian University) to study music. In 2005, I traveled to New York and sang with a choir at Carnegie Hall. Ultimately I got into church work as a Music Director. Now I make a living singing in church every Sunday.
Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been different if my Dad hadn’t said anything to me that morning. I have used the memory of that statement to get me through some discouraging times along the way. Even today, I feel charged up thinking about the fact that my Dad thinks I’m good at what I do.
How about you? Whose encouragement has made the difference for you? Or do you find yourself wishing someone had encouraged you along the way? Words carry incredible power. For us, it’s been the words of the people we look up to. For the people that look up to us, it’s been our words. For our employees, our team members, our children, our students, our mentees, our readers, listeners, followers, etc. our words have the power to change the course of their lives. If you want to be an excellent leader, you have to become an excellent encourager. So here are 3 tactics to sharpen our skills of encouragement.
1. Thank You Letter: For a period of my life, I committed to myself that I would send out one thank you letter a week to someone who positively impacted my life. This forced me to sit down and think about people’s positive traits and how to word them well.
2. The passing encouragement: This one is the most powerful. When my Dad told me he thought I had a nice voice, it was really in passing. He didn’t make a big deal out of it. He made the comment and then we both went on with our day. But I have thought a lot about that one statement for the last fourteen years.
3. Persistent Encouragement: There was a pastor at a church I used to work at who would go up to every volunteer after the services every week and say, “God used you tonight”. It wasn’t long before it felt routine and lost its emotional impact, but the idea stuck with me. The thought that God was using me was always on my mind when I was there.
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