Do you remember the first time you stood in between two adjacent mirrors?
When I was a kid, the bathroom in my house had a medicine cabinet hanging by the mirror. That old medicine cabinet also had a mirror on it's door. At night before bed, I would climb up on the bathroom counter and open the medicine cabinet door as wide as I could, until there was barely any space between the bathroom mirror and the mirrored cabinet door.
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| Photo courtesy of Damianos Chonakis at Flickr.com |
How cool would it be if you could do that? See your past and your future all at the same time, that is. You'd be able to learn from the accidents of your past, and avoid the pot holes of your future. Your decisions would be well informed, and you'd have easy access to wisdom beyond your years. Obviously, it wouldn't make you perfect. Only Jesus can do that. But it'd be just about the most effective way for you to discover more potential in your life and leadership.
The good news is, there is a way to do that. And it's really easy. This is where you're thinking Okay, here comes the sales pitch. {Deep Sigh} Time to go back to checking my email. But the truth is, you don't need to buy anything. You likely have everything you need already.
In order to simultaneously gain access to solid lessons from your past, and powerful insight into your future, all you need to do is look to two types of people in your life - Those less experienced than you & those more experienced than you. People in both of these categories are already in your life. Learning about yourself is really just a matter of being intentional about learning from them. As you refine your skills of observation with the people around you, it will literally be like standing in between two mirrors. You have the ability to look as far into past or your future as you'd like.
But before we go any further, I feel like it would be irresponsible to not offer this remark: Be careful what you wish for.
People with less experience than you.
The other night I took my youngest daughter on a daddy - daughter date to see the new Captain America (her idea). As I tried to focus on the Captain dispensing sweet justice, I found myself distracted by the sound of a conversation some teenagers were having behind me. After a few minutes of listening to them talk and snicker, I stood up, turned around, and as respectfully as I could said, "Hey, would you mind not talking. It's distracting." Then I sat back down.
After the movie, I went home to tell my wife what I hero I was. As I reminisced, I was reminded of the times adults asked me to be quiet in movies when I was a kid. I remember how prideful and arrogant I was about it. If an adult asked me to be quiet, I'd do it, but I'd verbally slam him after the movie (and after he was gone of course). And coincidentally, as I faced those younger versions of myself, I remembered how prideful I used to be. And I was reminded of how prideful I am today.
As you focus your attention on the people who are younger and have less life experience than you, you'll get a chance to glance back at parts of your younger self. Maybe it'll give you the chance to face an old demon, or maybe you'll just get a chance to see how far you've come. I am still prideful. But I wish I could have bumped into those boys as they trash talked me after the movie. I wish I could have crossed their paths just enough to say, "I get it. I'm not offended. You boys I've been where you are, and I get it."
People with more experience than you. (this is the be careful what you wish for part)
I've written about my struggles with sex addiction in a previous post. As part of my recovery, I attend twelve step meetings of Celebrate Recovery and Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA). A few years ago, I attended an SAA meeting that I'll never forget. I sat at a table with eight or ten other people. We went around sharing our struggles and stories. At one point, an older man shared. He must have been in his seventies or eighties. He sat hunched over the table and said these words, that have been burned into my mind, "I just wish I could stop picking up hookers." His words fell out of his mouth with utter defeat. I was blown away. I sat there wondering Just how long has he been picking up hookers? How much money has that dude spent on his addiction? I'm not sure I'd be able to go on living if I was in that guy's shoes.
After the meeting was over, I called my sponsor (recovery mentor) and told him about the old man. I ranted about the thoughts I had during the meeting and finished by saying, "I'm so glad that I am not in my seventies, and still living in my addiction."
He didn't pause before saying perhaps the most frustrating thing he has said to me. He responded, "Yet." Then he went on to remind me that I was looking down the very path that I was headed down only months earlier. He also reminded me that today I am capable of everything I have ever done. And if I didn't continue to pursue recovery with rigorous honesty, I may very well get to learn what it feels like to be that old man.
You know people who are further down the road that you're traveling. You have them at work, in your family, among your friends, even in your home. Some of those people are more like you than others. But you have something in common with all of them. Sometimes your common ground will be a sobering reminder, like the old man at the recovery meeting was for me. Other times, you'll get to watch someone make a very wise decision. Then you'll want to follow in their footsteps. In any case, people who are older and more experienced than you have much to offer in terms of insight into your future.
It doesn't matter whether you're young or old. The people around you are just like you. Pay attention, you won't regret it.
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