The one thing young punks need to become real men.

Not too long ago, I sat across a breakfast table from a young man who wasn't happy with his life. While his age made him an adult, he felt like he wasn't really a man. And he struggled with a lot of the basic necessities of adulthood, such as finances, integrity, work ethic, etc.

Photo courtesy of Nebojsa Bobic at flickr.com

As with most people, he was his own worst enemy. He admitted to me that one of his greatest hindrances to becoming the man was his own laziness and lack of self control. He was asking for help with problems that stemmed from deep within himself. 

I sat staring at him wondering How am I going to help this guy? Ultimately, the answer surprised even me. 

The life of an adult child

His predicament made me think back to my own bachelor days. They were only four years ago. I was in my mid twenties, and I imagined the great things God created me to do, but I spent most of my time sitting on my couch trying to beat twelve year old kids in Call of Duty Online. I was in my 6th year of college for my bachelors degree (yikes!), and my parents were still paying most of my bills. 

I was just like the guy I was sitting across the table from. So for me, figuring out how to help him began with answering this simple question - what changed for me?

Like my breakfast partner, I was my own worst enemy. I was unhappy with my life because of my own laziness and lack of self control. I wanted to be a great church leader, but I never spent time praying, reading my Bible, or pursuing God's plan for my life. I wanted to finish college, but I never studied or completed assignments. I wanted to find a smoking hot woman and be a great husband to her, but I couldn't stop looking at porn and having one night stands. 

The birth of a man

Then one day, something amazing happened. I met a man who had something that I really wanted. He had not only stopped looking at porn, but he had been faithful to his wife for three years. He gave me something that I desperately needed - a living breathing vision of the type of man I wanted to be. 

After meeting with that guy for a while, I kicked my porn habit, which paved the way for a healthy growing marriage. After that, I began looking for other guys who had things I wanted. Before long, I met and read about lots of men who successfully maintained daily time reading the Bible and praying. And by doing many of the same things those guys did, I managed to start a regular devotional time as well.

If I could give every young man one thing. 

The issue of laziness and low self control isn't unique. In fact, it's what pretty much every young guy struggles with. But it's not an insurmountable problem. In the end, to overcome these issues, the only thing guys need is to believe they can. 

Young men simply need to see a vision of what is possible. The best way to give them that is to introduce them to someone who has what they want. And it's all the better if that someone is willing to show the young man how to get it. 

That was the beauty of the breakfast meeting I had with that young man. After a few years of other men showing me how to get what I wanted, I found myself sitting across from a young guy who was asking me how to get what he wanted. 

We all become like the people we spend time with. By looking to living examples of greatness, we'll inevitably become greater men ourselves. And that will empower us to show other guys how to become the men they were meant to be. 

Now you know a little bit of my story. But what about you - Who has have you looked up to for inspiration and guidance? Please leave your answer in the section below.